goodbye to you

i was scared to say how lonely I’ve felt since you left. I miss you, the comfort of knowing you weren’t so far away, and admitting that is scary all by itself. See I didn’t see you coming, and I couldn’t have dreamt you up. In my darkest moments I wouldn’t have pictured your face to be the one that brought me back, or to have given me kindness. Saying I miss you aloud makes me feel like I dreamt you up. see I thought i knew what it meant to have your heart broken and to feel the loss of someone you thought would be the center of your world. I was completely wrong. I have fallen so deeply for you that when I write the words down I erase them just as fast. I have fallen so deeply that I have to lie to myself so that I don’t get over my head , so that I don’t feel the loss of you so heavy and consuming. I wanted to be the one for you, and in all the lessons I’ve learned it has taken you to show me that I need to slow down, you weren’t made for me. I have romanticized you. I have made you apart of my life, I have given you that space. And while it hurts to have you so far and in the dark of my deepest feeling, my heart is setting you free and I want you to be happy, to find you, to find love , to feel and to live. I hope you don’t forget me, and that when you think about me you miss me too. Tomorrow a new day starts and the past will officially have a closing and as I close this chapter I leave you in it too. I hope I find you in another universe where you were made for me, and it would sit well with my soul. and if this is the only universe we get, I’m so thankful to have loved you.