Tinder or Nah

Dear readers,

This week has been one for quite the dramatics. Everywhere I go I feel like all I’ve been hearing is someone broke up. Then what feels like the unimaginable happened, my really close friends boyfriend broke up with her. For two out of their three years together I have watched them grow, fight and love each other so much. Overcoming obstacles, working together and always in the end being happy. It took me a back to really understand why, and even when she told me the story I couldn’t help but feel my own heart break for her. How do you tell one of your best friends that it’s going to be fine when the person they are suppose to marry, decides that he no longer wants that? It is exactly what I fear, and part of the reason I don’t give people the chance to hurt me.

So anyways, like most girls my friend has turned to the glorious Tinder. Oh Tinder, how sometimes i wish you didn’t exist. See I can’t even say that because I at one point scummed to the Tinder world and went on a few of my own very Tinder dates that can only be described as awful.

Tinder, after using it and deleting it and literally reevaluating my life is used for validation. It’s used to make you feel good about yourself, to make you feel worthy, to make you feel like these strangers want you (unless you have a relationship from Tinder then more power to you). In the end the result is the same you are still alone, and missing the person you either wish paid attention to you, or the one you want back. I see nothing wrong with a little self confidence, but why through an app filled with strangers who don’t know anything about you?

So my good friend, and to anyone reading this week (male or female) know that you are more worthy then an app. Know that when you find your fairy tale, or the person you are meant to be with, its going to happen unexpected and not because you swiped right or left and chose your destiny. I know that maybe right now everything is blurry, and hey everyone wants to feel wanted but your end game is going to be better then what you expect. Take this new found single time to do things for yourself,  hit the gym and feel your lungs fill with fresh air, buy a new pair of shoes because your walking with a new purpose, and most importantly don’t forget how loved you are. It’s going to get easier, great things take time and patience so don’t give up just yet.

love and light,

Dre

Organs

Hey Readers!

This week I’m changing it up!
Instead of me writing I am sharing pieces or a piece of work I’ve been working on in my creative writing class. For anyone who does know me I am not very good with sharing my work, but I feel like maybe it’s time I shake the fear of that and what better way then my blog. So below is a piece I called “Organs” I hope you can enjoy it as a reader and feel free to comment and tell me what you think !

Organs

I am searching for the surface, but can’t find it. My body numb, the water as cold as the piercing look my mother would give us as children right before we got in trouble. Then Sunday mornings, the warm sun in my blinds. Or my dad holding my hand, wind blowing against my closed eyes. The start of fall, the smell of rain, driving with my favorite cd on repeat, singing “love is watching someone die.” And then I’m on the monkey bars, my grip slipping just before breaking my arm. I feel myself letting go of each moment like air bubbles. Who’s going to watch me die? In the library, or 10,000 feet in the air my blood is the bitter wind on a January day. I am frozen, rooted in this water like a weed in a stubborn garden. I try to replay in my mind how I got to this point, my body is turning stiff and I am sinking. I try to tread but can’t find the movement in my legs. My body is an anchor, pulling me under. I keep telling myself that I will make it out, but I know that this is where my story ends. I no longer feel the strength to keep moving. Mrs. Skirdla is yelling at me to raise my hand but I don’t care. The water pulls me, and I try to reach the surface but it’s useless. I close my eyes and let it consume me. I am the water.
Love and light ,
Dre