mind flowing
with toxins
hazed and confused
wandering
lost
wondering
did she feel the same
against you?
did your skin crawl
with every stroke
from the tips of
her fingers
did you hear
her heart race
to the sound
of your bodies
do you love her
like the ocean
sea salty air
like you used to
love me
Or is it better
never mind
don’t answer that
when does it end
haven’t i had my fill of you yet
how did i get wrapped
trapped enraptured by
those eyes that have me
stuck in this daze
when will the chains
that have me spell bounded
break and set me free
when will you let me be?
stare into my eyes
let your mouth form
the words i already know
grab my hand and trace
my cheek
sing your apology
to the sound of my breaking heart
let the water flow
and wipe them away
promise me you’ll never go away
whisper in my ear
you wish you could change
and that you’ll miss me everyday
closed fists
plaster walls
tangled sheets
you
me
nightmares
full moon
heads against pillows
the wind whispering
“but you’ll never leave”
wind blows
water rising
bed creeks
sun is breaking
bags are packed
door is open
eyes squinting
don’t look back
playing gamesrunning circles
learning the
hard way
reaching out
feel it out
denial rages back
it isn’t fairytale
it isn’t anything
it’s oblivion
and you’re
gone
tell me when
it’ll be my turn
to walk away
we’re tic for
tac
i love the feeling
of my hallowed breath leaving
my heavy chest
the way i welcome
the waves and waves
of streams falling
from my eyes
i don’t turn away
from the jagged cracks
that were placed against
my pale skin only to be re-opended
and the siren red tear that leaks
doesn’t make my stomach turn anymore
ive invited all the monsters
that were boxed in the hole
of my closet for tea
they remind me how pain
is really all in my head
they danced, laughed
and cleared me of my nonsense
they put me to sleep
and went to back to hide
a little further back
so i couldn’t reach the pain
i love to feel and i whisper
“take me with you“
fear clouds me
the sun hasn’t set in days
fear consumes me
my smile disguises how I feel
fear holds me back
from everything i want
i can’t seem to go to the next step
fear wins every time
that for the first time
I’m overcoming fear
because you are everything I’ve ever wanted
You pretend to want me
Running your hands up my legs
Knowing that it drives me wild
And you crawl your way
Up my body and tease me
The heat of you all around me
You slide your fingers
Passed my lips and whisper
My desire for you
You choke me
With enough pressure
To send me into
A yearning unknown
Now i lay awake
And dream of
The way you could fill
Me from the inside and out
I want to explore the more
you promised
the clouds look like a spotlight
as i fly above them
the wind crawling down my spine
on the old swing as I reach for the sky my hands wiping mud that blocks my eyes from wanting to see the world from the ground up
my curious mind wandered
but my views never changed
only the one behind the lens did
You had me turning in my sheets
open ended thoughts turning to simple minded dreams
your fingers traced the curve where my smile would meet my cheek
it used to make me weak
The way your eyes would stare into me
The day you brought her to meet me
i realized the sun didn’t shine
and the lies I told myself
made me wish I could hide
under a dark sky with the moon in my eyes
Your hands
Are tangled
In the mess of my hair
On sunday morning
With the light in your eyes
And the gleam in your smile
You are mine
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